Lazy Evaluation Ranch
3/6 Don’t get goats, they say. Goats are always getting into trouble and eating the orchard, they say. But do they warn you not to leave your goat alone with a synthesizer unless you want her working on her distant but emotionally charged coldwave masterpiece? No. They do not warn you about that at all.

3/6 Don’t get goats, they say. Goats are always getting into trouble and eating the orchard, they say. But do they warn you not to leave your goat alone with a synthesizer unless you want her working on her distant but emotionally charged coldwave masterpiece? No. They do not warn you about that at all.

3/5 Translucent lent-rose.
Raining pretty hard today. We ended up skipping milking the goats, they weren’t interested in food or anything else that required them to go out in the storm.
I planted garlic, only about five months late. I mean, um, seven months early. Yeah. I sure am organized and on top of things.

3/5 Translucent lent-rose.

Raining pretty hard today. We ended up skipping milking the goats, they weren’t interested in food or anything else that required them to go out in the storm.

I planted garlic, only about five months late. I mean, um, seven months early. Yeah. I sure am organized and on top of things.

3/4 Gracie the Sheep delicately samples delicious paint off the inside of the goathouse. It tastes white, with a hint of beige.
The paint transforms her into her superhero alter-ego, Confusion Sheep! A sheep with the proportional confusion of a hundred sheep! Able to get lost behind a single hayfeeder!

3/4 Gracie the Sheep delicately samples delicious paint off the inside of the goathouse. It tastes white, with a hint of beige.

The paint transforms her into her superhero alter-ego, Confusion Sheep! A sheep with the proportional confusion of a hundred sheep! Able to get lost behind a single hayfeeder!

3/3 One of the ducks, in the shockingly unlikely pose of Not Trying To Have Sex With A Chicken, Peacock, Cat, Rock, or Boot. 

3/3 One of the ducks, in the shockingly unlikely pose of Not Trying To Have Sex With A Chicken, Peacock, Cat, Rock, or Boot. 

3/2 The Scruffy Teenaged Peacocks have finally learned how to move their brand new huge heavy adult tails around, and have mostly stopped sulking on their perches and resumed being Fancybirds In Charge of Everything. Though sometimes when the wind blows they have to hold on for dear life, since they now have sails on their butts.
We actually saw one open his tail today! It quite startled the sheep, who have not been previously exposed to the idea of Birds That Expand. They ran away, which I’m sure was great for the peacock’s ego. :)
Our efforts to make the sheep pasture more pleasant and less “swampy enough to pull boots off your feet” by laying gravel haven’t been as effective as we’d like. The Blue Haired Girlfriend is digging a drainage pond.

3/2 The Scruffy Teenaged Peacocks have finally learned how to move their brand new huge heavy adult tails around, and have mostly stopped sulking on their perches and resumed being Fancybirds In Charge of Everything. Though sometimes when the wind blows they have to hold on for dear life, since they now have sails on their butts.

We actually saw one open his tail today! It quite startled the sheep, who have not been previously exposed to the idea of Birds That Expand. They ran away, which I’m sure was great for the peacock’s ego. :)

Our efforts to make the sheep pasture more pleasant and less “swampy enough to pull boots off your feet” by laying gravel haven’t been as effective as we’d like. The Blue Haired Girlfriend is digging a drainage pond.

3/1 I don’t know who keeps installing tiny licheny pipe organs on our trees. I probably shouldn’t have cloned Beethoven’s brain and put it in that squirrel, I guess.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.

3/1 I don’t know who keeps installing tiny licheny pipe organs on our trees. I probably shouldn’t have cloned Beethoven’s brain and put it in that squirrel, I guess.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

2/28 You appear to be TRYING TO PRUNE A PEAR TREE. Would you like to PET A KITTEN instead? (Y/Y) 
Pruned the pear trees! Hopefully it will help with out ongoing issues with pear scab. The scab doesn’t bother us very much because pears are disgusting and only bad people like them. (And those people should feel ashamed).  
But we could probably get more pear juice, which we could turn into more pear alcohol, if our pears weren’t all scabby. Then we could drink the pear alcohol to forget. And forget we were drinking pears! Nothing can go wrong with this plan!
Took a while, though, mostly because the Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow kept climbing the pear trees and nuzzling my pruning shears, looking for pettings. He is really unclear on how “feral cat” works.

2/28 You appear to be TRYING TO PRUNE A PEAR TREE. Would you like to PET A KITTEN instead? (Y/Y) 

Pruned the pear trees! Hopefully it will help with out ongoing issues with pear scab. The scab doesn’t bother us very much because pears are disgusting and only bad people like them. (And those people should feel ashamed).  

But we could probably get more pear juice, which we could turn into more pear alcohol, if our pears weren’t all scabby. Then we could drink the pear alcohol to forget. And forget we were drinking pears! Nothing can go wrong with this plan!

Took a while, though, mostly because the Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow kept climbing the pear trees and nuzzling my pruning shears, looking for pettings. He is really unclear on how “feral cat” works.

2/27 Either it was sunny today, or someone set the peacocks on fire.
We have decided not to keep bees this year. Last year our old mellow hive in the apple orchard died,  the new hive in the front yard died, and the bees we got to replace them didn’t even make it two months. Depressing. So we’re taking a break from beekeeping.
The Blue Haired Girlfriend wants to try bees from a local survivor stock, which would be Disease Resistant, but also Humans Poking Around At The Hive Trying To Help Out Resistant. We usually worked the Mellow Hive without any protective gear, so it’d be very different.

2/27 Either it was sunny today, or someone set the peacocks on fire.

We have decided not to keep bees this year. Last year our old mellow hive in the apple orchard died,  the new hive in the front yard died, and the bees we got to replace them didn’t even make it two months. Depressing. So we’re taking a break from beekeeping.

The Blue Haired Girlfriend wants to try bees from a local survivor stock, which would be Disease Resistant, but also Humans Poking Around At The Hive Trying To Help Out Resistant. We usually worked the Mellow Hive without any protective gear, so it’d be very different.

2/26 Possibly we should rename Soup-Nose “Wine-Nose.” She enjoys a good madeira.
(Mostly wearing it, not so much drinking it.)

2/26 Possibly we should rename Soup-Nose “Wine-Nose.” She enjoys a good madeira.

(Mostly wearing it, not so much drinking it.)

2/25 Tumorhead, who probably didn’t didn’t use her reptile telepathy powers to send an enormous alligator lizard into my house to sit on a toasty warm computer yesterday, requested newt sex pictures!

Unfortunately, I’m actually a terrible photographer and they insist on doing it underwater, for some reason?

Here are some blurry newts in amplexus. They do this for hours, unless they somehow mess up the extremely difficult task of floating motionless, like this couple, who apparently fell over.

It really baffles the peacocks. They stand on the edge of the pond and stare.