Lazy Evaluation Ranch
7/23 This is the face of a goat who has definitely not been standing on a fence to eat blackberries growing just outside the sheep pasture. Nope nope nope.
In completely unrelated news, the Blue Haired Girlfriend had to drive two extra fenceposts in the sheep pasture today, because the fence had gotten detached and crumpled downward somehow. Almost as if a heavy weight had been on top of it, probably about 60 kilograms with hooves and white fur.
The only possible explanation is that one of our neighbors has been animating enormous fluffy white teddy bears with the power of the dark arts and use them to frame this sweet, innocent goat for crimes she didn’t commit.

7/23 This is the face of a goat who has definitely not been standing on a fence to eat blackberries growing just outside the sheep pasture. Nope nope nope.

In completely unrelated news, the Blue Haired Girlfriend had to drive two extra fenceposts in the sheep pasture today, because the fence had gotten detached and crumpled downward somehow. Almost as if a heavy weight had been on top of it, probably about 60 kilograms with hooves and white fur.

The only possible explanation is that one of our neighbors has been animating enormous fluffy white teddy bears with the power of the dark arts and use them to frame this sweet, innocent goat for crimes she didn’t commit.

7/22 The Ominously Bulbous Pod on the water lily has opened. It doesn’t contain any evil clones at all. Instead it contains … some kind of flower? Who could have predicted this? I hope it is at least an evil flower.
There seem to be hoofprints in the mud all around the duck pond. I think Soup-Nose is being taunted by the one flower in all the world she can’t eat.
(Note from Future Everwest transcribing his chore notes: I am now only a week behind; haven’t been this close to caught up since January.)

7/22 The Ominously Bulbous Pod on the water lily has opened. It doesn’t contain any evil clones at all. Instead it contains … some kind of flower? Who could have predicted this? I hope it is at least an evil flower.

There seem to be hoofprints in the mud all around the duck pond. I think Soup-Nose is being taunted by the one flower in all the world she can’t eat.

(Note from Future Everwest transcribing his chore notes: I am now only a week behind; haven’t been this close to caught up since January.)

7/21 I … uh .. have no idea what was going on when I took this picture. Aliens? Doomsday devices? Evil plants? Goats? I got nothing.

7/21 I … uh .. have no idea what was going on when I took this picture. Aliens? Doomsday devices? Evil plants? Goats? I got nothing.

7/20 I think Soup-Nose ran out of batteries for her Cuteness Field Generator, ‘cause in this picture she just looks terrifying, like maybe she killed a dude and stole his smile.

7/20 I think Soup-Nose ran out of batteries for her Cuteness Field Generator, ‘cause in this picture she just looks terrifying, like maybe she killed a dude and stole his smile.

7/17 And now, a Very Important Post About Interspecies Hanky-Panky. 
I think this is actually Goofus, which is weird. Normally it’s Gallant the Pervy Chicken-Fancying Peacock with his ladyfriend Moustache the Chicken, and Goofus is busy Standing On Top Of Tall Objects Yelling Like A Drunken Muppet. Maybe Gallant called in sick and Goofus is filling in today? Stunt doubles?
Probably a bad sign that we have a Standard Interspecies Hanky Panky Procedure, now that I think about it.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog mostly about sheep poop.

7/17 And now, a Very Important Post About Interspecies Hanky-Panky.

I think this is actually Goofus, which is weird. Normally it’s Gallant the Pervy Chicken-Fancying Peacock with his ladyfriend Moustache the Chicken, and Goofus is busy Standing On Top Of Tall Objects Yelling Like A Drunken Muppet. Maybe Gallant called in sick and Goofus is filling in today? Stunt doubles?

Probably a bad sign that we have a Standard Interspecies Hanky Panky Procedure, now that I think about it.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog mostly about sheep poop.

7/19 A day in the life of the Small Grey Lump That Goes Meow:

  1. Beg humans for pettings. Ignore humans explaining to him that he is a fierce and independent feral cat and doesn’t need any pettings, and besides, humans are very allergic and enjoy their “breathing” hobby.
  2. Place bloody dead mole in sheep hay feeder, then spend an hour sitting in the sheep mineral trough. Will sheep pet me? I gave them a mole!
  3. Attack brother!
  4. Attack evil grass!
  5. Sniff intriguing piece of bread next to Sexy Deflated Basketball
  6. Spend an hour hiding on top of fencepost hiding from Very Romantic Fancybird defending the honor of the Sexy Deflated Basketball. Fancybird pettings do not feel very nice. :(
  7. Oooh, frogs. *falls in when the Blue Haired Girlfriend yells suddenly*
  8. Ooooh, water with goat drool in it. *fall in entirely of his own accord*
  9. Beg for pettings from humans attempting to milk goats, until humans get so annoyed they spray goat milk at him.
  10. Wander back to other feral cats, soaking with goat milk, and get licked clean. Yay! Finally, pettings!

I might almost miss the little dork if The Man With The Lobster Print Shirt is able to find a cat-friendly apartment and adopt him and give him All the Pettings.

Almost. :)

7/18 The water lily has made an Ominously Bulbous Pod! It probably contains a Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence, who will attempt to kill one of us, and assume our place in the world to enact its own terrible plans.
I hope the Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence doesn’t kill and replace the Blue Haired Girlfriend, though. She’s the only one who can make the wifi around here work, and it’s no fun fighting for your life against evil clones if you can’t post to tumblr about it.
Ooh, maybe the Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence will replace one of the goats. That would definitely make our lives easier, no clone could cause nearly as much trouble as an actual goat. They have been de-welding the fence in the sheep pasture! How is that even a possible thing?

7/18 The water lily has made an Ominously Bulbous Pod! It probably contains a Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence, who will attempt to kill one of us, and assume our place in the world to enact its own terrible plans.

I hope the Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence doesn’t kill and replace the Blue Haired Girlfriend, though. She’s the only one who can make the wifi around here work, and it’s no fun fighting for your life against evil clones if you can’t post to tumblr about it.

Ooh, maybe the Clone of Boundless Hate And Fiendish Intelligence will replace one of the goats. That would definitely make our lives easier, no clone could cause nearly as much trouble as an actual goat. They have been de-welding the fence in the sheep pasture! How is that even a possible thing?

7/16 “You’re not going to put this picture on tumblr, are you? Does my hair look okay? The goats haven’t stolen my hair again, have they?”

7/16 “You’re not going to put this picture on tumblr, are you? Does my hair look okay? The goats haven’t stolen my hair again, have they?”

7/15 The very warm weather has been great for the pear trees. Too bad pears are disgusting devil-fruit that only terrible people like to eat.

7/15 The very warm weather has been great for the pear trees. Too bad pears are disgusting devil-fruit that only terrible people like to eat.

Alas! Woe to them who wish to pet Cody the Sheep. Many have tried - well, two have tried, anyway - and it requires a brave and true heart. For lo, Cody doth enjoy very much the petting, and wish to lean happily on whosoever is petting him, in a fashion like unto a housecat. Alas, Cody is 90 kilograms with a very low center of mass, and whosoever he leans on will fall upon their butt.

Verily, Cody will then turn to look at that wretched unfortunate in confusion, like, “What just happened? Why does everyone doing the nice thing to me suddenly fall over? I don’t know archaic English, because I’m a sheep.”

dropcop